B-movies, the final frontier. These are the adventures of The Commander and Gort aboard the starship Mothership. Its ongoing mission: to explore strange old films, to seek out terrible movies and awful actors, to boldly go where no cinephile has gone before...
When the Galactic Alliance first became aware of this planet many years ago, one thing became abundantly apparent: Hollywood sucks. Mainstream cinema is simple business, rejigging existing concepts according to market synergy.
The Galactic Alliance will not stand for this dangerous precedent. They dispatched their top Commander and his loyal robot chum Gort to snuff out the Earth before it could damage galactic cinema forever.
When they arrived, the Commander and Gort discovered that there was still hope for the Earth. Low-budget, trashy B-movies contained small remnants of creativity and fun. This was just about enough to justify Earth's continued existence... that and Megan Fox...
Now, the Commander and Gort remain on Earth, attempting to teach us the error of our ways by singing the praises of trashy, low-budget, cult movies.
Our lawyers have advised us to remark that we have never heard of a TV show called Mystery Science Theatre 3000.
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